I have been teaching history at junior high schools in the East Bay for a long time. I was just rereading some old homework papers and here is what I learned about the Roman emperor Nero.
- Nero was raised by his mother. Nero’s father died years before he was born.
- Nero murdered his mother. After that, she lost all control over him.
- Nero murdered his wife by jumping up and down on her until he broke every bone in her body, but that didn’t count.
- Nero was a very cruel emperor. Nero tortured Christians by forcing them to listen to his horrible fiddle playing. The Christians who survived that were then sent to the arena where hungry lions consummated them.
- Soldiers rounded up the Christians in Rome and took them to the Coliseum where Nero lionized them.
- Back in Nero’s time, Christians didn’t like being eaten by lions.
- Nero burned down the city of Rome. He blamed the Christians for the fire but everybody in Rome knew that Nero started the fire himself to get even with them for booing at his awful fiddle playing.
- Republican senators didn’t like Nero because he raised taxes sky high to pay for his toga parties.
- Nero committed suicide by killing himself.
- After Nero died, an angry mob burned down his palace and smashed his fiddle.
- Nero’s fiddle is at the Smithsonian in Washington, D.C.
- Nero was a member of Caesar family. The Caesars were famous for their salad long before Nero was born.
Hmmm. I have a couple of cousins in Cincinnati who teach Latin and Roman history. I will have to check with them. I have some doubts about the accuracy of the facts above. I have wondered – What is the origin of often-told story that Nero fiddled while Rome burned? The fiddle wasn’t invented until the Middle Ages, more than 1,000 years after Nero died. And – it is my guess that most Christians probably still don’t like being eaten by lions.