Tag Archives: dog

WORST APPLICATION EVER. A couple of cat tales.

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DO YOU RENT TO CATS? I once got a phone call from a woman inquiring about an apartment I had for rent. She said: “I saw your ad for a 1-bedroom apartment for rent. I have a question. Do you rent to cats?” I thought that was an oddly worded question, so I phrased my answer carefully. I said: “No, I don’t rent to cats, but I do rent apartments to people with cats.” The woman said, in a dejected voice: “Oh, that’s too bad” and hung up the phone. I never heard from her again. Although this happened many years ago, I still think about this incident occasionally and wonder what was on this woman’s mind.

A GERMAN SHEPHERD IS NOT A CAT. On another occasion, a man applied for this same apartment. On his application form, he answered the question: ‘Do you have a pet?’ with ‘Yes. Cat’. I asked him some questions about his cat, but he gave me evasive answers, so I told him that I wanted to see his cat. I asked him: “Do you have a photo of your cat on your cell phone?” He reluctantly said that he did and pulled up a picture. I looked at the photo and said: “This is a photo of you standing next to a German shepherd.” He said: “Yeah. Her name is Sophie.” I said: “I don’t understand. A German shepherd is a dog. Why did you tell me that you have a cat?” He said: “Well, in your ad, you checked off that a cat was OK, but you didn’t check off that a dog was OK.”  I said: “So you thought that if we agreed to call your German shepherd a cat, then that would make it a cat.” He said that was his line of thinking. I decided to rent the place to somebody else.

DID YOU KNOW THAT A DOG ONCE ATTENDED UC BERKELEY FOR 4 YEARS AND GRADUATED?

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This is one of the strangest stories about UC Berkeley that I know of. Igor Fetch was a Labrador-Beagle-Husky mix. He was the house dog at Bowles residence hall. Igor was registered every quarter from 1972 until he graduated in 1976. On his application form, Igor’s ethnic identity was recorded as ‘K9.’ His keeper signed his name and took his tests. When Igor graduated, the dog’s sociology diploma was hung in Bowles lobby. Igor’s senior photo appeared in the school yearbook. Sadly, Igor died soon after graduation and was buried on the ground of Bowles hall. Igor is the only Bowlesman to be buried on the grounds. His granite grave marker is still there. Former UC students from the 1970s visit the grave and leave dog biscuits.

WORST APPLICATION EVER.

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“I Have a Jack Daniels Terrier.” I recently rented a big house here in Berkeley. I once got an application for this house from a woman that immediately aroused my suspicion, but as my sister Bonnie says, I have a suspicious nature. Why, I asked myself, would a single woman want to rent a 5 bedroom house by herself? Of course that’s legal, but it’s not normal. After reviewing her application form, I said: “I see you have a pet. You wrote down that your pet is a Jack Daniels Terrier. Don’t you mean a Jack Russell Terrier?” She seemed annoyed by my question. She said: “No. I meant what I said. I have a Jack Daniels Terrier.” I said: “Uh, you own a dog, right?” She said: “Yes, you know I do,” sounding increasingly annoyed. I said: “Well, I’ve never heard of a Jack Daniels Terrier before. Are you sure you don’t mean a Jack Russell Terrier?” Then she blew a gasket! She said angrily: “I’ve told you 3 times now that I own a Jack Daniels Terrier. You’re one of them, aren’t you?” I didn’t reply to that question. I didn’t know what she meant. Then she stood up and gathered up her stuff and said as she left: “I know you’re one of them.” She said that several times, but she never explained what she meant by that. When I went home, I looked up ‘Jack Daniels Terrier’ on Google, just to make sure that there really is no such breed, and as I suspected, there isn’t. I decided not to rent my house to that woman – or her Jack Daniels Terrier. I rented the house to a nice bunch of U.C. Berkeley chemistry grad students instead. Here is a photo of a Jack Russell Terrier. Notice the distinctive upturned tail, a characteristic of this breed. I wonder what a Jack Daniels Terrier might look like.

Worst Application Ever.

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“I Have A Question.”  I rented a house on Milvia Street 3 years ago. At the bottom of my Craigslist listing, I put: “I will be happy to answer any questions you may have about this house. Send your questions to (my email address.)” Here are my 3 favorite questions and my answers.

Q. Your ad says that this house has 5 parking spaces, but there’s no garage. Is the parking outside?
A. Yes. I do not permit my tenants to park their cars inside the house.

Q. Your ad says ‘No dog.’ What about 2 dogs?
A. That was my mistake. I’m sorry. My ad should have said ‘No dog or dogs.’

Q. Do I have to tell you my name?
A. If you want to rent this house, Yes, you will have to tell me your name. I cannot check your credit if I do not know your name.

Worst Application Ever

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My Dog Has Issues. At an apartment, where I advertised that I would allow a pet, an applicant told me that he had a dog. I asked him what kind of dog he had. He said that he didn’t know. I am always suspicious when an applicant for an apartment tells me that he has a dog but can’t describe it. That happens fairly often, and it always sets off alarm bells for me. I said to him: “I can see that your dog is in your car. Why not bring him inside so I can meet him?” The guy went silent. After thinking about it for a minute, he said:  “I don’t think that would be a good idea. My dog has anger management issues. That’s why I have to move.” I thought: “Uh oh! That dog must have done something really, really bad.” I said: “Well in that case, leave the dog in the car.” I didn’t call the guy’s landlord to get the gruesome details. I didn’t have to. I knew I didn’t want that dog in my building. I rented the place to somebody else.